I’m Awesome and I Got a Boo-Boo…What’s New?!

I did it again. I am not sure how. But I gave myself a boo-boo!

I think it has to do with my eye-ball, those allergies, the same ones that got my eye-ball!

My paw was really itchy so I started licking it. Well! Mom found out and noticed it was pink because I licked it so much. I tried to run away, but she is fast!

She put some smelly stuff, that I tried to lick (she stopped me from doing that too!!) and then wrapped it up. I can’t even get to it now. So I try and lick it through the wrapping she put on it.

And you know what?! I can’t even go hiking because of it. I LOVE HIKING, but she says I can’t go until it gets better.

Mom says it should be better in a few days. But I don’t know if I can do a few days of this! Where is an unobedient…I mean unobservant parent when you need one!?

Don’t Panic…I Tell Myself!!

Okay, so I am not one to panic, okay may I am, wait, I am confusing panic with stress. I do stress, panic, no, well yes…

Awesome has me rather panicky today, or the last few days.  I blame the wind, because I think that is the cause of it.

Awesome has been off his “game.” Basically NOT driving me crazy ever five minutes, so I was panicking.

The other day he was outside, his ears flapping in the wind, and a little while later, he was acting like I beat him, flinching and what-not. The Husband checked out his eye, and I checked out his eye, it looked like maybe he got something in it. Awesome started to get better, not so flinch”y”, then today, utterly and suddenly he was worse. I tried taking him for a walk, which turned into a nightmare as I attempted to drag him back to the house when he decided he was done with the walk. I am sure you can imagine a 90 plus pound dog deciding he was finished with the walk!!

So there I am trying to get him to go back home, while he is acting like I will beat him if he doesn’t walk (side-effect of not being able to see out of one eye…clearly) and someone in a car slows down (thank you!!! because at least someone cared about the fact that I might be abusing my dog! the driver soon saw what the issue was…and drove off.) Finally getting Awesome back home I noticed, in the correct lighting and just the right angle he had a scratch on his eye.

I call and make a vet appointment for today, obviously the time they give me is not soon enough!!!!

So I am panicked because even though he is a dog, and not a toddler, (I get that), he is still MY BABY!

Awesome is not himself, he is more like how Charlie Sheen would be if they took away his hookers!!

I sat and cried, yep cried, as I hugged Awesome this morning. I don’t like it when he is not his usual annoying self!

So don’t panic….that is what I keep saying…it’s just a scratch….

Awesome’s Year In Review

My first week home

Hey!!! I saw that Mom and Dog both posted about their year. Dog seems a little upset about me being here. Don’t worry my dear blog visitors, I will get Dog to like me yet!

Okay, so my year…

It was awesome! And why wouldn’t it be!?!?!

At the beginning of 2010 I was just chilling with my brothers and sisters, sleeping in crate thing in this lady’s kitchen. I woke up from a nap, my head shoved between a sister and the water bowl, to find these two people looking at me. These people, who I didn’t know at the time, were my Mom and Dad. They hugged me and looked me over then just before they left they put me back into the crate thing. I was confused, but knew something big was gonna happen because my Dog Dad peed on Mom’s leg just before she left. THAT meant something. And guess what!! Mom and Dad came back for me!!!

In 2010 I learned that Mom makes mad faces when I try to eat rocks and leaves and dirt. She also made happy faces and she liked to carry me around, even though I knew I was too heavy and that my legs clearly were in working order.

But Dog was another story! I don’t think Dog liked me at first, and I’m not sure Dog even likes me much after all this time. Every morning I am so excited to go visit Dog in her bed. I bring her toys and talk to her, but she doesn’t seem to like it. Mom likes me visiting her in the morning, she always has a sleepy “Hi” and pets me. Maybe Dog and Dad are a lot alike, because Dad doesn’t like me saying hi in the morning to him. He covers his head with a pillow. I don’t think that is a good sign.

What have I done in 2010?? So much, I learned to chew and not chew, I learned I love the water hose, I went hiking, and for walks, and to the dog park. I also have mastered 3 tennis balls in my mouth at once and I discovered it’s rather cool to sleep through the night!

But 2010 was the best because we went from one house that was cool to another house that was cool. I am most grateful for the huge water bowl outside! It is so refreshing after I play with Dog. Yet Mom still yells “NO POOL WATER!” If I could get a human voice I would yell back at her, “It’s not pool water Mom, it’s a WATER BOWL!!” Maybe some day she will figure it out.

What else?? Well not much, it was just a great year!! So what are my new year’s resolutions going to be….

To stay awesome! And why not?!?! That’s my name after all.

A few weeks ago

Awesome’s Movie Review – Santa Buddies

Hi everyone, Awesome here.

Last night Mom turned on this movie for me. At least I think she did it for me because I couldn’t stop watching it!! It was amazing!!! The movie was called Santa Buddies and it was about dogs and puppies. I didn’t really follow the story because I kept having to go outside to play in the puddles from the rain.Yes it rained! And I was running around and making a wonderfully awesome mess! Oh yes, the movie…

I learned so much from the Santa Buddies movie. At first I sat and watched it, then I barked at those dogs, then I ran up and tried to go through the front of the TV to get to them. It didn’t work, the whole TV thing is rather confusing to me.

But these Santa Buddies taught me many things.

1. how to climb a tree

2. how to knock cookies off the counter and eat them (I didn’t know I could do that!)

3. how to bust a move

4. how to roll in dirt and shake it all over the house (And I thought puddles were fun!)

5. that dogs can talk

It’s true these dogs and puppies were talking. I don’t think Dog understood either, Dog just kept tilting her head, back and forth, back and forth looking at the TV. I can type, but talk?!?!

Anyway this movie Santa Buddies is my favorite movie of all time! Mom said the movie was baaaadddddd, but how could it be!! Santa’s Buddies know it all! I learned so much. I can’t wait to use all this knowledge!

Puppy’s Anger With Cell Phones

Morning! It’s puppy here. What a great morning for me, no more antibiotics! Horray!

Okay, now to get to an important issue I’ve been having….cell phones.

I’m not sure why everyone I meet has one of these things. What is it that you people do on them that is so important? Sometimes they even seem to make people mad. I’ve seen it before, they get mad at them and throw them or slam them on the table. If so many people hate them why have them?

Secondly, Mommy is on her cell phone a lot. Well I am not sure what a lot is but, it seems to be a lot to me. Do you know how I know that it is officially time to start the day? I hear the cell phone turn on. And how do I know when the day is over? I hear the cell phone turn off. At least I assume that is what it is doing since after it makes that noise Mommy doesn’t get happy or angry or busy on it.

Of course Daddy has one too, only his makes a lot more noise than Mommy’s cell phone. What is so important that you can only  discuss with your fingers?!

Then there is a guy that comes over, I will call him, Friend. Friend must be really special because it doesn’t beep, but shakes and sometimes it even yells profanity!! But it shakes a lot, more than Mommy’s or Daddy’s cell phone beeps. But I let it slide with Friend because he plays with me THE ENTIRE TIME he is here!!!! Can you believe that?! So you can see why I ignore his cell phone habit.

But really humans! What is it with these things?! Do you need them that much? And why is it that sometimes when it beeps you say “I can’t see it all on here,” and have to go get on these computers?! It’s like a cycle!

If I could, I would take Mommy’s cell phone and chew it on all the corners, then take it outside and poop on it!

Have you people thought about barking?!

Puppy’s First Yeast-Ear Infection

While I was deeply trapped in my chemistry dream (I’ve been studying non-stop for three days) with molecules chasing me and Lewis dot structures poking me, I was woken by Puppy, who was shaking his head every minute.

Like any mother I did “the test.” If he shakes his head one more time I will get up and check out his ears, otherwise he is fine. I waited. Puppy shook his head again. So, I got up.

We headed into the hall bathroom, and turned on the lights, it was 1am. Rather nervous to look in Puppy’s ear, thinking that ticks and bugs might come out, I carefully lifted Puppy’s right ear. Phew…nothing marching out at me. I became more nervous I reached for Puppy’s left ear and sure enough didn’t like what I saw.

I grabbed a baby washcloth from the drawer and got it wet, then carefully tried to clean up some of Puppy’s ear goop. Puppy seemed fine with this, but kept shaking his head. Not knowing what to do, I decided to wake Husband.

Much like a child who’s had a bad dream and nervously sneaks into mom and dad’s room in the middle of the night, carefully tip-toeing to mom’s side so not to wake Dad and not get in trouble, I however was Mom and so I had to wake Dad.

I proceeded with caution. Surprisingly Husband wasn’t upset and came right out to look at Puppy’s ear. Phewwwww. But like most Dad’s he wanted to see what developed over night with Puppy, while I was ready to have Puppy airlifted to dog version of St. Jude’s. Instead I got Puppy’s ear cleaned some more, joined by Dog who Puppy assumed was up to play, while Dog felt otherwise.

Back to bed we all went, except me. Just like a parent with a child, I laid in bed and waited for Puppy to return to sleep before I felt able to fall back asleep myself.

Morning came and Puppy wasn’t shaking his head anymore, thinking I was off the hook from the money sucking vet trip. I was wrong when I discovered that the goop was back, soon followed by the shaking. Of course the receptionist at the local vets office had no sympathy for Puppy’s emergency and scheduled us for the soonest available appointment that day, 5 hours later.

Arriving at vet, where they did indeed suck every penny they could out of me while Puppy and I waited for over an hour. (No they were not busy…Yes we need to find a new vet!)

Puppy and I left with 2 pill bottles, 2 ear drop bottles, and 1 ear rinse thing. Neither of us were happy, but Puppy made up for it by trying to sit up front with me instead of in the back. Need I mention that Puppy weighted in at 87 pounds today!!!!

Puppy is resting and hopefully will cooperate when it comes time to administer his medicine cabinet full of drugs.

Guest Blogger, Puppy (I gotta be quick!)

My name’s Puppy. Okay so I actually have a real name, but for the sake of keeping this blog simple, we go with Puppy. I’ve decided to hop on here, to this thing Momma calls a blog.

I felt it was best if I introduce myself since she talks about me rather often, and without my permission.

First the word blog has become somewhat of a 4-letter word in this house. Momma is always “hang on, we’ll play after I finish this blog post.” “Sit still, I need a picture for the blog.” “Don’t eat that! It’s for the blog!” (Okay so it’s not really for the blog, she just doesn’t like me eating random things that aren’t spelt P-U-P-P-Y F-O-O-D).

Now back to me (like she doesn’t get enough blog time to talk as it is!)

I’ve been a rather wonderful puppy since the first day I arrived in this mansion. It’s not really a mansion, but since I can’t seem to climb on anything higher than a couch and there are so many walls I often forget and slam my head into them, it’s pretty much a mansion to me.

I fell in love at first sight with…eating (you thought I was gonna say Momma!!) dryer sheets!! They have this great fresh smell that lasts and lasts! I’ve yet to out grow this habit, as Momma found out just the other day. My favorite thing is when it’s windy outside and all these leaves that make me throw-up blow around the yard in fun little circles. I chase after them and try my best to catch them and devour them. But it’s hard with Momma yelling “NO LEAVE IT!!” (She is rather loud for such a small person)

Let’s see. Oh yes things I enjoy. Besides eating, it would be…WATER!!!!!

Oh how I love water. And it’s not beyond me to find ways to get it. From a hose, doggy fountain at the park (although I mostly use the fountain to try to swim in) and let me not forget, trying to hop into the shower with anyone who is willing to leave the door open a crack. If you don’t let me in the shower, I fall asleep pressed up against the door so humans can’t get out! It’s rather funny.

Now I really enjoy playing with other puppies. I love them in all sizes and colors. I’m not racist! And dogs, well I show love for seniors too!

But I must admit my “pet (LOL, pet) peeve.” Since this seems to be the place to grovel.

My “me peeve” (LOL, me) is when Momma works out. Often times her hands are not doing anything useful so I bring her a toy. But she seems uninterested in it. So I go and get another, until Momma is surrounded by my toys. Yet, nothing seems to suit her fancy. I think she needs to find workouts  that fit better for me so we can still play.

Oh, I hear Momma coming and she said something about eating or playing or water…who cares…she’s coming!!! Post, post, where’s the post button!!!!???

The Destruction of Mr. Piggy

It all started off so innocently. Back when Puppy got his first set of fabric toys.

Mr. Piggy was a favorite, between both Puppy and Dog. Little did Mr. Piggy know it would end rather suddenly…

First it was his right arm, then his right leg, apparently the shop maker was “right faulty” when it came to pumping Mr. Piggy out.

Oh how I sewed and re-sewed poor Mr. Piggy’s legs and arms back on, then his stomach and side. Soon it became apparent that Mr. Piggy would have to go without arms and legs. And soon Mr. Piggy would only have his left leg and tail still attached.

Several days later…we lost Mr. Piggy altogether, as I quickly snuck Mr. Piggy into the trash can during “nap time.”

Then, I came upon a brilliant idea, one that even fooled Husband. Go and get a new Mr. Piggy at the store.

So that is what I did! The arrival of Mr. Piggy number 2 turned into Mr. Piggy with one missing right arm only one hour after arrival.

Again I sewed and re-sewed. Mr. Piggy number 2 is hanging in there. But Mr. Piggy number 2 only survives by his tail.

I’m unsure as to how much longer Mr. Piggy number 2 has, but I do wish him the best when it’s finally time to say goodbye yet again.

Now, should I go get a Mr. Piggy number 3?!?!

This Can’t Be Comfortable…Photo Essay of Puppy’s Past

Last night Puppy graduated, and although it’s like your child graduating kindergarten, no one really cares but you, the parent, it was still pretty cool! So in honor I’ve dug up a few photos from Puppy’s past…hopefully, after my rather depressing post on the American dream, this will make you all smile or laugh, or…go out and buy your own puppy.

 

Most Common Things Dog Parents Say

Are you talking about me???

 

• “What is in your mouth?”

  

• “Why must you two play right next to me!?”

  

• “Every time I sit down you need something, why is that?”

  

• “I walk you, you don’t walk me.”

  

• “Can you do SOMETHING you’re supposed to without me having to give a treat?!”

  

• “Even if you are super quiet and gentle it’s not okay for you to pull things off the kitchen counter.”

  

• “Your tail is attached to YOU, therefore it’s NOT a toy.”
  

  Shhhh!!!

  

• “You sleeping on my feet will never get old.”

  

• “Why is it that when I call COME 12 times you don’t hear me, but when you are dead asleep and I tie my shoelace you come running?”

  

• “My $30 bra is NOT your chew toy!”

  

• “There is never going to be a group barking contest, so please stop trying out for one.”

  

• “I LOVE that you LOVE me just the same as you always have.”