Don’t Panic…I Tell Myself!!

Okay, so I am not one to panic, okay may I am, wait, I am confusing panic with stress. I do stress, panic, no, well yes…

Awesome has me rather panicky today, or the last few days.  I blame the wind, because I think that is the cause of it.

Awesome has been off his “game.” Basically NOT driving me crazy ever five minutes, so I was panicking.

The other day he was outside, his ears flapping in the wind, and a little while later, he was acting like I beat him, flinching and what-not. The Husband checked out his eye, and I checked out his eye, it looked like maybe he got something in it. Awesome started to get better, not so flinch”y”, then today, utterly and suddenly he was worse. I tried taking him for a walk, which turned into a nightmare as I attempted to drag him back to the house when he decided he was done with the walk. I am sure you can imagine a 90 plus pound dog deciding he was finished with the walk!!

So there I am trying to get him to go back home, while he is acting like I will beat him if he doesn’t walk (side-effect of not being able to see out of one eye…clearly) and someone in a car slows down (thank you!!! because at least someone cared about the fact that I might be abusing my dog! the driver soon saw what the issue was…and drove off.) Finally getting Awesome back home I noticed, in the correct lighting and just the right angle he had a scratch on his eye.

I call and make a vet appointment for today, obviously the time they give me is not soon enough!!!!

So I am panicked because even though he is a dog, and not a toddler, (I get that), he is still MY BABY!

Awesome is not himself, he is more like how Charlie Sheen would be if they took away his hookers!!

I sat and cried, yep cried, as I hugged Awesome this morning. I don’t like it when he is not his usual annoying self!

So don’t panic….that is what I keep saying…it’s just a scratch….

How I Drive Mom Nuts, and How You Can Too!

*Note Mom can't drowned my stuff friends if I sleep with them really close!

Hi Everyone!

It’s Awesome, and I am so excited to share with you some new things I learned.

Okay, take note!

I noticed when Dog wants to wake Mom up in the morning, she taps her paw on Mom’s nightstand. I’ll admit, it does work, but not as well as a paw slap to the face! That’s right. I figured out that Mom really jumps out of bed if I take my paw and smack it right in her face. It’s a great tool to use when you want action right that minute!

Secondly, Mom doesn’t always like to play ball with me. I have also figured out a way to fix this. So get ready to write down tip number two. Take your ball or balls and drop them into the pool, then whine and start trying to swim with just your paw, careful not to fall in, and act like you are struggling to get that ball back. This gets Mom to come over, because she doesn’t want you to fall in, and she doesn’t like the ball(s) getting wet. Now, don’t worry, if you don’t have a pool. My alternative to this is walk over to a pile of poo and just let the ball fall right into it! This really gets Mom’s attention and she will play with you, after she cleans off the ball of course.

Oh, Dog just came in the room. Now Dog is reading my post….

“Ummm, no. Why are you telling people this Puppy?”

I’m Awesome now!

“OK…well either way this is not good advice.”

It’s great advice Dog!

“No. This will drive Mom nuts and a nuts Mom is not a happy Mom. A nuts Mom pours a lot of that red liquid into that unstable “cup.” Which, frankly…I don’t understand. Why did people create a cup with a tipsy bottom on a long thin stem with a big cup on top? Then you put liquid in it that makes the person drinking it tipsy. Tipsy for Tipsy!?!?”

“I have no idea what you are talking about Dog, stop ruining my cool post!”

“Fine, I’m leaving. You’re an idiot.”

Okay now, I hope everyone tries these tips! Have fun!

HELP! Mom is drowning my stuffed friends!

PROOF! Just look at them!!!!

Oh my!! You will not believe what has happened. Oh yeah, it’s Awesome, hi.

My mom, she was drowning my stuffed friends today. In the bathroom sink! Right in front of my face! Oh the horror!

I could hear their gurgled squeaks as she squished and squeezed them in that bubbly water! And now they are just sitting there, wet and limp!

Oh thank gosh Dog is here.

“Dog! Dog! Did you see? Did you see what Mom did!?”

“What? Wash your filthy stuffed animals?”

“What? What do you mean wash. She DROWNED them!”

“No, she washed them because they were dirty from all the places you drag them, hell you are like a mix of Pig-Pen and Linus from Peanuts…your toys are dirty and you always have one with you.”

“I’m a Pig-Lin what? Wait…so my stuffed friends…they will make it? They are okay?”

“As soon as she puts them in the dryer, they’ll be fine.”

“THE DRYER!?!”

The Good and Bad of Play-dates

Hi Everyone, it’s Awesome and I am so happy to be on here to tell you about my play-date!!!

Where do I start my story of the good and bad of a play-date?

Let’s start with The Friend’s puppy’s name. I don’t know it. No one ever bothers to tell me, and I should know it, we are friends. But I think I figured out what his name is. See, I was watching A&E the other day, as mom had left it on. I think A&E stands for Abuse & Education. I saw that Dog the Bounty Hunter show. Of course I am not sure why that man is called that, he is clearly not a dog.  But I got why it was on Abuse & Education channel, because Dog the Bounty Hunter yells and swears and throws people down, that would be the abuse part, then for the eduction part he goes on and on about how much he loves them. What a great guy!! You can never have too much love!! But after that show, a program about crack cocaine came on.  That was very informative, and I now know The Friend’s puppy’s name.

The Friend’s puppy’s name is Cracky. We have a lot of fun, and I was so excited to finally know his name on the play-date!! So Dad takes me over to see Cracky, I am excited and happy to see Cracky, but Cracky is crazy! We play and play and I am so happy, but I get tired and lay down and Cracky just climbs over me and bites me to keep playing. I am not sure why A&E didn’t talk about the effect of crack on puppies.

I really need a friend like the one I saw on TV a little bit ago, this bouncy guy by the name of Tigger. He looks to be a great friend for a play-date.

GOOD: Play-dates are fun, even with Cracky, because I love his energy.

BAD: Cracky can be a bit much even for happy and playful me!