To Be…..Isolated

ISOLATE: to set apart from others; place alone.

Okay, so I’m not under house arrest, my legs work fine for walking, I can operate a vehicle, and I’m smart enough to drive on the freeway and read street signs to head out of town…yet I’m suffering from some form of cabin fever…isolation.

It comes and goes, has been for over a year, that was when I lost my job. Although through the job loss I’ve realized, grown, learned, and contemplated a LOT of crap!! (Please don’t feel sorry for me…this isn’t the point of the post)

The point is isolation.

Yes, I have a Facebook account, which I use to its full extent, minus accepting “friend requests” from chicks that look like they just stepped out of the shower and decided… NOW is the best time to take my profile picture…plump-pouty-lip-kissy-thing and all. Who is that kiss intended for anyway?!?!

Anywayyyyyssss…I interact with “friends” on Facebook, sure it’s a form of communication, some deranged form, but it’s a connection to others in some way. Yet, you or in this case “I” can communicate with people all over the U.S. as well as foreign countries and still feel like I haven’t had an interaction with anyone at the end of the day.

Facebook is glorified texting! That’s what I’ve discovered. Sure I text during the day too (basically just end up bother people, the, all of four!!! people, as it seems, usually don’t hear back from two…hell they are working…DUH!!!). Is it a connection to someone???…not really!

Do I miss the cubical life?!?! Yeah, kinda, sorta, maybe a little bit. I sure don’t miss the crap that goes on, political work crap, but I miss seeing actual people, smelling someone’s disgusting lunch cooking in the break room microwave, I miss saying good morning and bye to people. Does this mean I miss work?!?! Ummm…HELL NO!! I miss people, miss drama.

Well, people are thinking, go, get out of the house!!! Ahhhhh….doesn’t work that way. Now I get out of the house, I walk the dogs, go to the dog park, run errands, (the post office employees actually seem nice when they are the only people you interact with in person) but what else…well nothing. I do homework, write, clean the house, play with the dogs…all isolated things. And frankly it’s hard to get enough enjoyment out of attempting to create a splash/swim in the dogs $10 plastic blue swimming pool.

So then you say, go to the park, go on a day trip. Ahhhh more isolation. Because I’m not looking for a two-minute conversation with someone and something I probably don’t care about or isn’t important enough to chat about. Plus I’m not one to strike up a conversation.

Now I’m not sitting here with a monitor on my leg, I’m not under house arrest. I’m just…here. Like the maps at a mall. YOU ARE HERE. Yep…I’m HERE, soooooo…yep….now what!?!?

Maybe my isolation stems from lack of friends, family, get-togethers. Maybe I isolate myself without knowing it. Maybe I isolate myself due to fear, since I’m an introvert, yet want company, and often are annoyed by many.

The weekends and nights are better, of course, because then Husband is home. But frankly we aren’t all that excited to chit-chat with each other, because there isn’t a whole lot to chit-chat about, let alone he’s pretty tired of chit-chating and listening by the time he’s done with work…plus, we pretty much know it all….said it all.

I feel like the Monopoly guy in jail! If the Monopoly guy talked to himself, stared at the ceiling, and sung the same chorus from California Gurls over and over all day…

All This Buzz About…What???

Have you heard of diaspora?? Can you properly pronounce diaspora??? Do you even know what I’m talking about???

These are a few things I’ve found/wondered about during my search:

• The video of the guys, creators of diaspora, reminds me of possible stand ins for Superbad 2.
• Was there any rehearsal for the making of the video???
• They state in the video, that it’s all in our hands, this new social networking site. Seems a little, left up to chance there boys…
• Were they really shooting their viewers at the end of the video???
• It’s on Wikipedia as a definition only (diaspora) as sharing common something…but apparently is often confused with diaspore (botany)
• Diaspora is known as the newest competitor for Facebook and Google Buzz…wait, what’s Google Buzz??? Oh its definition is on Wikipedia…okay.
• Who will be able to pronounce it properly by its launch in September???

So in the end, what is all the buzz about? I wish I knew!

The Facebook Project – Complete

Day 4 continued

4:03 I’m so consumed with writing, so again, I’ve completely forgotten about Facebook, but I do miss it.

8:35 excited for tomorrow, it’s like they are opening a new ride at Disneyland!

8:36 Disneyland….Ohhhh…now I want to go to Disneyland!

Day 5

7:09 it’s here, it’s here…come on noon!

7:12 totally swallowed a whole Frosted Mini-Wheat, (for my returning readers…yet again!!) Thinking about Facebook, getting excited.

12:00 I log into Facebook…kinda disapointed in the “new Disneyland ride.” I read all the old posts and…I didn’t really miss anything. I almost feel let down.

Here is what I learned….

I have self-control (still not over candy though). Life will go on and things will happen all the same, even if I don’t know what is up with everyone. If someone wishes to share something important with me, they can contact me the “old fashion way.” I learned it’s important to take a break, as it gives you time to think about other things and focus on yourself. (I discovered some great new story ideas) So in the end, now, I will probably not be on Facebook as much because I’ve realized it’s not my life and that I can become just as addicted to blogging as I can to Facebook! Excuse me I need to check my blog stats AGAIN!

P.S. If anyone reading this has any ideas of what else I should try to do/not do for one week please feel free to share with me.

The Facebook Project – Day 4

Day 3 continued…

I actually forgot about Facebook for nearly most of the afternoon and far into the night. It wasn’t until everything in life was going wrong when I remembered and couldn’t log in. Completely frustrated, I needed to vent, and to, apparently, a lot of people at once. Yet I refrained…

Day 4

7:45 seriously just want to log into Facebook so I can see what everyone is up to!

10:55 I think I feel less stressed, but miss all the drama Facebook can bring.

11:09 and I’m starting to think no one really cares that they haven’t had the joy of hearing a status update from me! Depressed almost…

2:05 trying to figure out if tomorrow, at noon, when I’m “allowed” back on, if I will go back and read all that I missed over the last 5 days…or if I should just consider it the past and not look…but how can I not look. The nagging little girl, is POKING ME, with her sticky, chewed up Tootsie Roll Pop chanting: “check, check, check!” At least I finally got poked!

The Facebook Project – Day 3

Day 2 continued…

2:37 going crazy without Facebook. I’m reading in my college textbook, about prisons and it says “people are naturally social, to confine them is unnatural.” Someone help! I’ve caused myself to be unnatural!!!

4:04 my mind is not consumed by what others are doing, leaving me with lots of time to think about myself…too much thinking about myself.

6:34 during a commercial, so tempted to just look really quick at Facebook, eat candy instead.

I’m starting to become aware of the nagging little girl who I’ve spoken about before. (The one wearing flip-flops) She is telling me no one will know if I just get on Facebook really quick and look. I find it hard to believe her as she looks preoccupied chewing her Tootsie Roll Pop.

Day 3

I wake up in the morning, and I’m so NOT “feeling like P-Diddy.” For sure he has checked his Facebook account this morning.

10:57 starting to wonder why no one has noticed I’m not on Facebook…surely one of my Facebook “Friends” must miss me…

11:00 someone POKE ME!!!!!! dang it!!!

Starting to wonder if my time stamped thoughts posted on this blog is a “form of status updates” minus Facebook?!?!

12:34 probably is

The Facebook Project – Day 2

OK so this is how Day 1 started. With minutes to spare before noon, I freak and continually check Facebook.  I think I’m sweating…so nervous. I feel like I’m packing for a vacation to another country. Making sure everything is in order.
12:05 feeling like I don’t know what to do with my hand…fingers…stare at the ceiling fan for a while.

12:08 okay I can do this…put music on…it’s been a while (Laura Bell Bundy, Mavis Staples, Elvis)

12:29 dancing/singing in my chair…wonder what everyone is up too…one hour and I’m already curious.

1:09 first Facebook email…delete.

1:45 realize that I’m not getting much work done with the music on. Sitting in silence now, doodling on my notes, as I think about Facebook.

2:18 Facebook message, and Facebook email….going to have to save these….ughh…so want to open them!!

2:58 wondering if I’m having some kind of Facebook withdrawals…

4:12 withdrawals from Facebook, need food, almost break my tooth biting into a candy bar my husband brought home called a PayDay, disappointed with the PayDay, put the other half back into the cupboard.

5:38 puppy does something hysterical, dying to post status, everyone surely needs to hear this!!

6:50 making dinner, usually I check Facebook now.

8:09 so bored!
 
Day 2
6:23 up, taking care of dogs, no Facebook = feeling lonely.

10:11 I, for sure, am missing out on someone’s important Facebook news.

11:57 spill my soup all over my desk, me, my writing notes, and the chair. I’m convinced that I’m clumsy because of my lack of social networking. Also, this why I tell my husband not to eat at the desk.

The Facebook Project – Day 1

This is the project, today starting at noon, I will not be logging into Facebook, checking other people’s statuses, posting status updates, or reading emails coming from Facebook. This will go until Friday at noon.

I’m doing this project as I believe that I spend too much time checking in on Facebook. I don’t receive status updates via my phone or email, so this has me getting on Facebook at least every two hours to see what is up with people.

However, I don’t play any of the Facebook games, like Farmville, as I have stopped THAT addiction many months ago.

This project will be difficult for me, as it seems to be the only way I ever find out what is going on with all my friends or family. And is the only why others communicate with me. I find that I fill my extra minutes with Facebook and it’s important to realize that I have better things to do with my time.

I guess we will see how it goes….

Today…

Today…not much better than yesterday. And I have come up with nothing to help turn it around.

I think I ate about 10 cookies yesterday, but I made them, so I guess they were a little bit healthier than store-bought. But I must have spent every second that I wasn’t eating cookies grinding my teeth as I had an awful headache come the afternoon.

I do give myself points for not mouthing off anymore on Facebook on some “friends” stupid posts. And extra points for the extra credit I managed to do decent job on in one of my college classes. Although it wasn’t in the class I actually needed extra credit in…why does that always happen?!?!

But I would like to know who taught my dogs to chase each other around the kitchen table right after a bath?!?!  They are both wet, both slipping and slamming into everything in their way. My walls have big body slam wet marks from their impact. I guess the large empty carpeted room just isn’t as much fun as running around on the tile and doing the doggy splits.

Freedom of Speech

I find the topic about freedom of speech to be and interesting one.

According to the First Amendment we have this right…but in truth we really don’t.

I’ll explain…

We have the right to say whatever we please, as long as we don’t offend someone in the process. You have the right to yell and swear at someone on the phone, such as a creditor who is being rude/lying, but you can be fined for doing so. You have the right to post on Facebook whatever you see fit, but Facebook can cancel your account, or your “friends” can go off on you, along with their “friends.” You can stand on a street corner and hold up a sign, shouting what you believe, but people can yell back at you, throw things at you, or spit on you. I can comment that someone is a bad driver, but they might pull out a gun and shoot me.

So you are given the freedom of speech, but you can’t really use it without consequences, even if you aren’t being rude.

What other Amendments are there that we really don’t have true freedom with??? I can think of others, but I really shouldn’t say…