Dog and Awesome – Happy February

Hi everyone, it’s Dog.

Annnddd I am here too, it’s Awesome!

Dog: We just wanted to talk a little about life.

Awesome: That is correct. We wanted to share with you how wonderful our life is.

Dog: Well we don’t want to sound egotistical Awesome.

Awesome: No, we don’t sound like Eggos. Mmmmmm Eggos!!

Dog: No, not Eggos, nevermind. Okay we are here to say, we have it really great. And we think that everyone should find the greatness in their life, somehow.

Awesome: Yes, find your greatness…find your Awesomeness!! HAHAHA

Dog: Awesome, stop laughing, be mature, you are not a puppy anymore.

Awesome: It went well with the sentence, sorry, gosh.

Dog: February is here, get out, enjoy life, stay positive!

Awesome: And find your balls!

Dog: That was not good advise! People will read that as something else entirely. They have no idea that you are talking about how happy you are with your tennis balls.

Awesome: Well now they know, you told them. Balls!!!

Dog: Stop Awesome, just…stop.

Awesome and Dog: Christmas Special

Awesome: We want to share with you a cute little Christmas story (just like me! cute and little).

Dog: You are far from little.

Awesome: Okaaaaaay, just cute.

Dog: People don’t want to hear a cute Christmas story.

Awesome: Of course they do. Christmas is a a time for cozy memories and happy stories.

Dog: I think you mean sappy stories.

Awesome: So what Christmas story should we tell them then…DOG?!

Dog: That is not a very Christmasy tone…AWESOME…okay folks, grab your cup of hot cocoa and marshmallows.

Awesome: mmmmm marshmallows.

Dog: Once upon a time there was a Dog, she lived in a small little house with her mom and dad. The Dog’s mom spent several hours making a glorious gingerbread house. For several nights and days later the Mom remembered to put the gingerbread house on top of the refrigerator whenever she left the house. But one night Mom forgot and had to rush of to class. Mom called Dad and asked him to put it on top of the refrigerator, but Dad forgot.

So the Dog wondered into the kitchen and pulled the gingerbread house off the kitchen table. Well that gingerbread house broke into pieces when it hit the floor, and Dog got right to work.

Awesome: Oh My…did Dog eat it!?!?

Dog: Shhhhh….The Dog got busy hiding, not eating, each piece. The Dog hid the pieces in the couch cushions, in shoes, behind dressers and beds, and desks until nearly every last piece of the gingerbread house was hidden. When Mom and Dad got home they flipped out thinking that Dog had eaten all of the gingerbread house. But Mom soon noticed a scratch mark on Dog’s nose, soon putting two and two together, she located the first piece in the couch cushion. Mom continued searching and located more and more pieces. Wouldn’t you know that Mom found a final hidden piece a year later when she was packing to move?

Awesome: Great story Dog. Did you make it up?

Dog: The Dog in the story is me! I was rather sneaky in my earlier years. Merry Christmas blog fans!

Awesome: Merry Christmas!!

I Call Him…Wind. A Story by Awesome

I prayed I could be like Wind someday

The other day Mom took me out on our typically slow walk. I was doing my normal awesome things when HE appeared. Out of the corner of my eye his owner started to appear. His owner was riding a bike and there HE was…Wind.

His ears flopped back in excitement, his mouth open and happy as he passed, just as fast as the wind.

I tried desperately to pull Mom to chase after him. I could barely contain all of my excitement for Wind. I bucked like a bull ready at the gates, I think I even heard a few things pop on Mom as I yanked and yanked for forward. But just as fast as the wind…Wind was gone. Only his happy fast smell remained.

Awesome and Dog: Thanksgiving Special

Dog: I'm thankful for Awesome because he lets me do this!

Awesome: I had this great idea to list the things we are thankful for, for Thanksgiving.

Dog: I had a better idea, but I forgot it because I am older, wiser, and forgetful.

Awesome: So, are we ready? Dog?

Dog: After my nap.

ONE HOUR LATER

Dog: Okay now I’m ready. I’m thankful for naps.

Awesome: Of course you are, you just took one. Okay…I’m grateful for Mom.

Dog: That’s too broad!

Awesome: Why are you calling Mom a broad? I don’t think that is very nice!

Dog: Broad – like too open, too vast, not specific.

Awesome: Oh okay, well Mom because she lets me be lazy.

Dog: I’m grateful for bedtime.

Awesome: I’m thankful for  treats and breakfast and dinner and food Mom sneaks me.

Dog: Mom sneaks you food?

Awesome: Uhhhhhhh…

Dog: I’m changing this to things I’m not thankful for!

Awesome News

Soaking my boo-boo

Awesome here to report good but bad news. It seems that all of those yummy, delectable, beyond delicious treats that are soft and chewy are full of something that makes me get the boo-boo on my foot because I am, what mom calls, all-er-gic. If you remember my past boo-boo post you know this is something that I have been having issues with for a long time, with it coming and going a lot. All this time it has been those yummy treats…TREATS.

The cone to keep me from licking my boo-boo

And guess how Mom finally found out. When she gave me my pill (for heartworm). That will teach her!! Stupid pills.

Dog: Did you say pillow?

Awesome: No I said pill.

Dog: Oh, I need a pillow.

Awesome: Dog, this is about my boo-boo and not being able to eat yummy soft treats, NOT about a pill.

Dog: I’m going to find a pillow, I need a nap.

Awesome: Anyway, so the good news is I no longer have to worry about the boo-boo, I just have to worry about my belly missing those yummy soft treats.

Can’t Out Smart Them

I attempted to outsmart Dog and Awesome the other day. I wanted desperately to sleep in. I went to bed at 8:30, hoping I could gain my “sleep-in” time at some end of the spectrum. Yet I couldn’t outsmart those dang dogs!!! They hit eight hours of sleep and woke up at 4:30 right on the nose. My attempt had failed miserably, plus I was up super early.

While Dog did her normal pacing of the room, flopping, pacing, flopping, moving out of the way every time Awesome came near. Awesome checked to see if I was wake, barking quietly just in case I wasn’t, barking quietly at Dog just in case she wasn’t. It’s like every morning it’s Christmas or the fear that I might be dead.

If this all sounds like a complaint…it’s not. In fact I would love to have third or fourth dog waking me up in the morning. Nothing is better than the excitement a dog can bring into your life, for me, a Dog and an Awesome. I never thought in a million years that my life would be with dogs and not children, and that I am happy with furry children. Besides, dogs take naps no matter how old they get

The Return of Awesome and Dog!

I'm glad Dog is back, but he is in my spot.

 

Okay, it’s Awesome here and I am so happy to be back!! And Dog is even back too!!! Are you excited?! Did you miss us?!

Dog: What are you doing?

Awesome: I’m telling everyone that you are back, well, I am back too! I have not blogged in a long time!

Dog: Yeah, I am back. And you not blogging is probably best. Have you bought any Orbit yet? I see that dirty mouth hasn’t changed.

Awesome: No Dog, I don’t want to go to space. But you are back in my life and I am so excited!

Dog: Calm down, I’m not excited, just you.

Awesome: How can you not be excited?!?! Haven’t you missed me?

Dog: No, I missed the car rides, you are confusing my excitement. I was excited for a car ride. I’m ready for my car ride back.

Awesome: Back? Back where? No you are here and this is where you should be. I was whining a lot and Mom finally got the hint. She is smart like that!

Dog: If Mom was smart she would give me a car ride.

car ride? Car Ride? CAR RIDE?

Confused Awesome

Hi there. Nope no excited Awesome today, or lately.

I’m confused, sad, I think I might even be depressed.

My boo-boo, yep, it is still on my paw. I still have to wear a cone thing to keep me from licking it. But at least I don’t have to take those pills anymore. But Mom and Dad like to put my paw in this blue stuff and they make me keep it in there for like minutes! Can you believe that!?

My sister, Dog, she is coughing. I don’t like it when she coughs. They give her honey, but I don’t get any! I tried to pretend cough, but it came out as a sneeze, which made them gave me more of something they call Benadryl.

But the worst of this all, Mom is gone now. She leaves the house a lot and I am very lonely. I sleep a lot. And just when I got really lonely and missing her a lot, Dad started to stay home a lot, like Mom used to. And then they started talking a lot about monkeys. I don’t know why they are always talking about monkeys now, they seem kind of upset about monkeys. But I think a monkey would be great! Mom keeps worrying about monkeys, but Dad keeps telling her the monkeys are fine. Well if the monkeys are fine then I want to know when we can get one for me so I can have a friend?!

Well, I think that is all I have to say for now. I think Mom is done with her homework so she can pay some attention to me…FINALLY!!!!

If anyone else is struggling with this monkey issue, I understand your stress! Maybe we can just get a cat if this monkey thing is so stressful.

Words I (Awesome) Didn’t Want to Hear

Hi

I figured everyone was worried about me and my little scare with my eye-ball. Don’t worry! I am okay! Well, maybe not so great…

Mom took me to see a vet-ur-nar-e-an. He was okay. But he sure liked to ask about my poo! Why are humans so into dog’s poo? I don’t hear Mom ask Dad every night, “Hey how was your poo?” I really don’t think my poo is that important, he should be asking about my toys or Dog and her not wanting to play with me all the time. Anyway, after the vet-ur-nar-e-an got done asking about my poo, he said a bad word…he said I was FAT!!!!

I can’t be fat! You know why, because they weighed me and I weigh 103.5 pounds. That is more than 100% that is like an A++ how can an A++ be bad? The vet-ur-nar-e-an said I have to be on a diet and weigh 80 pounds. That is like a B-!!!!!

I didn’t go to the vet-ur-nar-e-an to get in trouble! I went for my eye-ball. Which didn’t have a scratch on it like Mom thought. It was an allergy in my eye-ball. I got eye-ball medicine. I don’t really like it.

But back to the diet and me being fat. The vet-ur-nar-e-an told Mom to not give me as much dinner and breakfast and to put VEGETABLES in my food so I don’t notice I am eating less. I CAN HEAR YOU PEOPLE. MOM. VET-UR-NAR-E-AN!!!!!!!!

I am sad! And hungry, and hate my eye-ball medicine!

Why My Brother Is An Idiot

Hey, it’s Dog and I realized I can no longer keep mom’s blog visitors in the dark.

Awesome…is an idiot.

I know, EVERYONE LOOOOOVEEES him. Well you don’t see what I see.

My brother...Awesome(ly an idiot)

Example 1: Awesome couldn’t get into the house from the backyard the other day because an extension cord was in his way. That is correct, he was AFRAID to step over it. So he barked until mom came and got him.

Example 2: Mom built a block wall thing in the backyard, it’s about a foot high. Awesome can’t seem to bring himself to jump over it, so he walks alllllllll the way around it.

Example 3: A few days ago Awesome pooped, then turned around to smell it and almost fell in the pile of his own poo.

Example 4: Awesome nearly swallowed a tennis ball on accident. (Don’t worry. Stop worrying. He got those thrown away and replaced with larger tennis balls).

Of course, even though I find my brother to be an idiot, doesn’t mean Mom does. Nope, she still loves Awesome more than M&M’s in her popcorn and bare-feet. Go figure.