Life, College, and All That Other Crap!

I’ve been thinking a lot about the future lately, as I am at a decision point with my education, career, future, all those things that seem to rattle my brain. Realistically my brain does not actually want to give me answers, it just wants to annoying me.

And yes, the Nagging Little Girl is back.

I went in to see my advisory for college, as I am 90% complete with my bachelors degree. She was supposed to have some kind of profound answers and great insight. Instead, she messed up telling me what I actually need to graduate, so hence I am all confused. (GO FIGURE!)

Any-Who

I am at a point where I am thinking why are we here? (Deep thoughts come from minor issues for me) So I am trying to figure out the purpose of mine, and others existence here on Earth. Often we are told you are here to make a difference, touch a life, those sentimental things. But then I think, well why? Why is there someone who needs that? Are we all just here for someone else? What was the point of that? It’s like a big ball of want/need going in an endless spin cycle (which reminds me, my dryer sucks!)

So while I struggle for some philosophical answer, I ponder college.

Do I get a Masters degree? And why? How will more student loans benefit me? The Husband actually brought up several good points…1st was if I wanted to work the type of job a maters degree required (long hours, stress, management of some kind, etc.) 2nd was that I don’t have to go right after I finish my bachelors. But I say yes I do, because I am realllllllyyyyyy done with homework. Learning is fine, tests are not! Let’s not mention the ever rising costs of education.

So then I think about how a Masters would benefit me. Better position, possibly better  job security, better pay. Yet more student loans, more time in school. Leading to my second career of writing getting less and less of my attention. Which I don’t want.

I don’t want to live life trying to bet the system of career goals, working just for money, but no time to spend it. Of course what can you do with little money??

A small part of me is worried I won’t pass the two required math type classes needed for a Masters. I barely passed them at the bachelor level. Yet I worry that I will be nothing important if all I have is a bachelors degree, (but isn’t that what most get anyway?? Do I want to be like everyone else)

That Nagging Little Girl, thinks it’s a cop-out on my end. So why not shoot for the stars, even if I am not sure why I am shooting for the stars. While all I can see is a bunch of stars shooting in different directions, falling, raising, crashing…

Back-to-School!!!

If I had a backpack, or if I was not 30, it would be packed, as college starts back up on Tuesday! (Sunday back-to-school jitters??)

I am excited, if you can’t tell. Of course I really don’t know why. I will read through the syllabus and panic, flip through the textbooks and panic again, review the first assignment and panic…stating “I must drop the class! I must drop school altogether! I simply cannot do it!”

Then I will pause…re-group…and do the dang assignment. Happens every time…for nearly every class. For the simple fact that I want to achieve so much for  myself…and additional college (as it seems) is one of them. (Gratefully I really enjoy…so far…the classes need for this degree).

And as many of my constant visitors know from the past…my blog might suffer. Although hopefully I will not be as absent as before.  (I will not be moving this semester! But I have somehow, ended up starting a rather massive backyard project…)

So wish me luck! For if I had a backpack, my textbooks would surely not all fit  >:/

…and what do you think?

I noticed over the last several days that there have been women prison workers outside, on the main street, by my house, doing city yard work. Yes there is an elementary school nearby, no school is not in session.

The group of women are not shackled and they carry rakes and clippers. I would believe that these are women about to be release and are considered “safe” from what I know about how these things work (correctional function class doesn’t start until the fall, then I’ll know for sure)

This way of providing for the community, possibly putting it in danger, giving women prisoners something to do, helping them get out for a bit, all seem to be a catch 22 type of deal.

Did you know we spend more money on the prison system than on education? Well I can’t get into that topic, we could be here all day. Soooo I will discuss my thoughts on working prison inmates.

Prison systems all have some form of worker programs, whether it’s inside the jail or outside. First it is nearly impossible to guarantee that prisoners wouldn’t find something to hide and use later as a weapon. They already are able to do that with what they have access to or what they have smuggled in.

Second, prison time is expected to “correct” the inmates, and society is expecting prisons to” fix” inmates, yet we argue that giving them jobs inside of prison hurts people who aren’t criminals, because it’s less jobs available to them. The other argument is prisoners do the jobs no one else would want, because it’s so mindless, but they are still jobs. Much like the debate over illegals picking strawberries for farmers. Prisoners can make money on these jobs. Argument there is, all that money should go to pay their prison costs (what little it would cover) but then that leads to, what happens when a prisoner is released and has no money to live off of, and returns to crime to pay for food and shelter? Another argument comes about that well if they weren’t in prison for wrong-doings then it wouldn’t be an issue. Correct, but at the same point how can we expect on to get better without a support system (not all released criminals are sent to half-way houses, etc.) How can a criminal, once released, find a job?

Third issue is the safety of the surrounding area when workers are outside. Having prison workers doing work for the city, such as litter pick up and plant clean up/trimming saves a large amount of money. And in this economy that is incredibly helpful. Would you be comfortable with a prison worker, deemed “safe” to work around your home? Or much like a sex offender, would you not want them around, as you don’t know what prisoners are in prison for?

I ask these questions because I feel there are many good answers to these issues, and many points to be discussed, and like childcare and child education, I enjoy talking about these subjects. Yes, I am going to school for this, and no I’m not trying to get answers to help me write an essay paper…although that might be a good idea

So I ask for your opionons….and what do you think???

Lost in College

The two-hundred page book is held just above the open dictionary laying across her stomach.

She reads, then searches the pages of the dictionary for some form of understanding. Returns to the reading, then stumbles yet again, and is back to the dictionary.

Often times she can’t make it through an entire sentence. Apparently this is university work, not community college work, apparently this is struggling, apparently this is stressful.

Did she miss something along the way? Time and effort are factors, but merely not enough at this point. It seems to have gone from step 1, 2, 3 then right to 7. Although she often understands miniscule pieces of text, ones that someway link back to her associates degree. The rest is lost in translation.

She has contemplated the masters program, after earning this, her bachelors, but that was before she sat on the couch, dictionary and textbook inches from each other, as she becomes lost in thoughts of what she is doing, or what she is struggling with as she zones out on complete paragraphs.

How can one be called intellectual and articulate, but struggle immensely within the context of school, which provides the stability of a career?

She feels like she is drowning under a pile of words, phrases, and discussions.

Even the Nagging Little Girl has dropped her lollipop and is looking aimlessly for it on the ground…she’s in near tears.

(5 minute fiction, equals real life fiction)