Blog on the Move….

Sometimes discovery comes from unknown life plans…changes…

And like everything else as of lately I accept and welcome the changes and unexpected new open-mindedness.

These changes in life’s plan have opened my heart, mind, and ideas. I believe the word I’m looking to use is…altering dreams. And because of this or these…I move forward to better my current and future life…and this blog will be changing too.

AND because WordPress makes somethings difficult (LOL) I ask that you please join me at my new blog. It will be the same content as Karin Won’t Stop Talking, but under a new name and new background.

Please join me at: The Seashells of Life

To Miss…Missing

How does one understand that they are missing someone, feeling those feelings of missing?

When you look up the word miss you find this…

Miss: To notice an absence or a loss, to fail to hit a ball, to fail to take advantage, to fail to be present, to fail to meet.

There are a lot of negative connections to the word miss (i.e. fail). Yet often times we use it to speak about someone we miss because they are not currently present, be it busy, gone, or possibly even death.

I personally refer to missing as an emotional feeling, rather than a negative “fail” notation.

If I could re-write the dictionary I would come up with a better definition that matches my idea of missing.

Miss: To have an physical, emotional, and mental feeling of not having a person/object with you.

Today I miss my Mom.

Mom

What is your definition of miss?

Friends (Friendships)

As every day is a new journey of emotions, highs and lows, positives and negatives, I have begun to understand how important my friends are to my happiness and to a large part of my life.

Growing up I had very few friends (I still have some of these issues today). This is because of many factors. Moving, shyness, not being popular, low self-esteem, not being super athletic with school sports, and not being book smart put me in that loner group we are aware of…

I was never really forced to make friends or overcome my shyness…until I starting working and later when I entered community college. I was awful worried about what people thought of me and if they would or wouldn’t be my friend or if they would disappear (this fear was/is caused by death and moving). And working as a nanny for so many years had put me in a very comfortable bubble of not having to deal with much of the real world.

When I moved to Arizona, everything changed. I was no longer in my comfortable and secure job, and I was living a completely different lifestyle than I had experienced, ever.

My first job when I moved was working for a specials needs preschool class, which opened me up to only slightly more people than I was used to as a nanny. But when I ventured out and got a job with a very fast paced, culturally overwhelming company I realized, I loved it! I loved all this “life” that was surrounding me. And through those interactions I realized I liked being in this crazy mess of the world and making friends, being popular, just as much as I hated and feared it.

As I continue to make friends, more so than I ever have in all my years combined I realized that friends, being with them and talking to them, sharing things with them, is so vitally important for me. And it is important now more than ever that I have these relationships. My friends have saved me so many times!!

Friends have been the most eye-opening lesson in my life thus far. I’ve been hurt by a few, and learned a great deal from those people, yet it has not stopped me from venturing more (you think it would).

Every book I have read throughout my life has said that you have to be happy and love yourself first. Well I don’t know if I could do that without the support and love of my friends. I might put too much effort into my friendships, but I don’t regret any of it…regardless of the outcome, because the ones still around are….amazing.

Decisions…

As I continue my journey of going at life, on my own, I have discovered the “thing” which I miss the most (to this point…), and it involves decisions.

Since the separation I have had to make all the decisions, there is not one thing that someone else decides for me at any given point or time. This, oddly enough was not something I ever thought about as a “side-effect” of divorce. Yet each day and each decision made, I have realized, was something I had very few of during my twelve years of marriage. It’s n

And as I was pondering all these emotions and feelings I have been overwhelmed with, I realized that one of them is the power and energy that making decisions on one’s own. Even something simple like after a long day I have to decide what to make for dinner, and at times, it feels like the hardest thing.

Honestly I miss a having decisions made for me, not because I couldn’t make them or didn’t want to, but because some days I am to exhausted to make them.

How NOT To Dye Your Hair

Anything under $3 (unless on sale and with a coupon) won’t last regardless of what the box claims.

• Using the food handlers gloves they provide, thinking they will actually stay on your hands or that you can use your hands with them on is false.

• Dying your hair with clothing you like on.

• Having a white counter top, white tile, and white bathroom rugs.

• Having any kind of itch that is not on your head.

• Forget you have dye on your hands or “gloves” and pet your dog.

• Pile your dyed hair on top of your head, walk around and expect it not to fall and spray tiny splotches of dye everywhere.

Just a Fool

Carrie Underwood’s song Change has been rambling around in my head…but not about changing the world…just the line she repeats “just a fool, just a fool” whispers in my ears over and over.

There are many other Carrie Underwood songs that I could discuss but I don’t want this post to become that type of post….”wishing…missing.”

So let’s go back to “just a fool, just a fool.” I have allowed others to fool me or I’ve been the fool…(not sure of the correct order) for most of my life. I could go back to elementary school, but maybe further back than that. Of course it does not matter when it started but that being a fool started in general. Let’s jump ahead to the last five or so years…when the “fool” really clicked in. I won’t go into detailed, but you would think by now I would have learned my lesson…to not be a fool or to be fooled.

How does one prevent being a fool? Smarts? Not trusting anyone? Being positive? Negative? I don’t think the answer can so easily be typed out in a blog post…I think preventing being a fool or being fooled is about trusting one’s self. Knowing one’s self. Standing up for one’s self. Trusting others only after you trust yourself, after you know what you want or expect in life. You can’t be a fool if you’re in control of your life.

 

 

Baby Shower For Men??

I’ve noticed a lot more men proudly showing off baby photos. It got me wondering…are mens’ involvement and enjoyment switching or evolving to have a positive attitude about their wife or girlfriend having a baby?

Recently, over the last several years numerous articles are popping up in top gender-neutral magazines about stay at home dads on the population rise.

So should baby showers turn into a shower for both parents?

History of baby showers varies from country to country yet the main purpose here in the Unites States is to provide gift to make welcoming baby easier.  Today, showers are treated much like a bachelorette party, women show up, play specific games, etc. Would we be taking something only women can own by doing this? What things would change if it became gender neutral? Would guys want to partake? What would change? Do men start having their own baby showers, with gifts of ear plugs, self rocking chairs and doctor’s notes saying they can’t change diapers?

Tortilla Soup

Here is my recipe for Tortilla Soup:

 

32 fl 0z of chicken broth

5 limes

1 avocado

2 medium tomatoes

half of a red onion

1 bunch cilantro

1 pound chicken (cooked, preferably shredded)

1 jalapeno pepper (optional)

Tortilla chips

• Cook chicken (I boil it and shred it).
• After you finish using the pot to cook the chicken rinse it out and add the chicken broth, bring to boil.
• Dice all ingredient (minus chips) and add to bowl, then take 2 of the limes and squeeze juice into the mixture and gently stir.
• Squeeze remaining 3 limes into the boiling chicken broth, remove from heat.
• Add large amount of mixture to serving bowl, ladle in chicken broth, and sprinkle with crushed tortilla chips.

Lemon Cake

There is a piece missing because it's on my plate.

I like this recipe because it’s cheap (often times cake mix is on sale for 88 cents a box) and yummy. As well as the ability to use the lemon juice for other things (a few drops down the sink when running your disposal can get rid of bad smells or a few drops on your hands to get rid of onion smell). Plus since the frosting on the cake is so thin you can eat a bigger piece of cake

 

 

 

Lemon Cake

1 box of yellow cake mix – prepare and bake as directed.

lemon juice – bottled works best.

powder sugar.

Well, it was on my plate.

After your cake cools, make the “frosting” as you will frost right after you make the mixture. To create the “frosting” mix about 1 cup of powder sugar to 2-3 tablespoons of lemon juice…you might need to make more, depending on the cake size. This is very much a “can’t mess up” frosting. What you want is not too thick (will not be very lemon”y”) or too thin (will make your cake soggy). Mix frosting until desired consistency, you should have to work a little to spread the frosting over the cake.

To Heal…

I have had a life full of ups and downs and the last three months have been some of the worst. Yet I’ve been lucky enough to have several friends that I communicate with via Facebook, email, and text messages who have been a nice support system. And in this day and age it seems as supportive as in person that one with a busy life can get. (Of course nothing is better than in person support).

The healing process for one’s self is a complex set of emotions, whether it is mental or physical. And I sure have been attempting to find the answers or at least start to put together answers while living life in the process. Thankfully I have only lost one really good friend in my latest set of ups and downs, the rest I have discovered were, dumbasses (thank you Red Forman…more on That 70′s Show in a future post) to begin with. I have had to deal with the friendship loss and learn that it requires healing and understandings I have yet to learn. And I have to learn how to accept that I know the truth and if others are not willing to understand and forgive that I have to learn to heal regardless.

I won the first drawing from Small Yellow Songbird!!

And….as you can tell I’m not the best at discussing this or the advice that one can impose. Sooooo, gratefully, my friend is doing a much better job than I could and I’m happy to direct you to her wonderful new blog “Small Yellow Songbird.” She post a new message of wellness every Tuesday. (She also has giveaways  bimonthly) Small Yellow Songbird is regarding women’s wellness, but men should also feel free to check in because of her global message of understanding your health and body is universal. Because I am overwhelmed and behind, I didn’t get the word out soon enough, so be sure to check the first post which explain why she is blogging.