Friends (Friendships)

As every day is a new journey of emotions, highs and lows, positives and negatives, I have begun to understand how important my friends are to my happiness and to a large part of my life.

Growing up I had very few friends (I still have some of these issues today). This is because of many factors. Moving, shyness, not being popular, low self-esteem, not being super athletic with school sports, and not being book smart put me in that loner group we are aware of…

I was never really forced to make friends or overcome my shyness…until I starting working and later when I entered community college. I was awful worried about what people thought of me and if they would or wouldn’t be my friend or if they would disappear (this fear was/is caused by death and moving). And working as a nanny for so many years had put me in a very comfortable bubble of not having to deal with much of the real world.

When I moved to Arizona, everything changed. I was no longer in my comfortable and secure job, and I was living a completely different lifestyle than I had experienced, ever.

My first job when I moved was working for a specials needs preschool class, which opened me up to only slightly more people than I was used to as a nanny. But when I ventured out and got a job with a very fast paced, culturally overwhelming company I realized, I loved it! I loved all this “life” that was surrounding me. And through those interactions I realized I liked being in this crazy mess of the world and making friends, being popular, just as much as I hated and feared it.

As I continue to make friends, more so than I ever have in all my years combined I realized that friends, being with them and talking to them, sharing things with them, is so vitally important for me. And it is important now more than ever that I have these relationships. My friends have saved me so many times!!

Friends have been the most eye-opening lesson in my life thus far. I’ve been hurt by a few, and learned a great deal from those people, yet it has not stopped me from venturing more (you think it would).

Every book I have read throughout my life has said that you have to be happy and love yourself first. Well I don’t know if I could do that without the support and love of my friends. I might put too much effort into my friendships, but I don’t regret any of it…regardless of the outcome, because the ones still around are….amazing.

Decisions…

As I continue my journey of going at life, on my own, I have discovered the “thing” which I miss the most (to this point…), and it involves decisions.

Since the separation I have had to make all the decisions, there is not one thing that someone else decides for me at any given point or time. This, oddly enough was not something I ever thought about as a “side-effect” of divorce. Yet each day and each decision made, I have realized, was something I had very few of during my twelve years of marriage. It’s n

And as I was pondering all these emotions and feelings I have been overwhelmed with, I realized that one of them is the power and energy that making decisions on one’s own. Even something simple like after a long day I have to decide what to make for dinner, and at times, it feels like the hardest thing.

Honestly I miss a having decisions made for me, not because I couldn’t make them or didn’t want to, but because some days I am to exhausted to make them.

How NOT To Dye Your Hair

Anything under $3 (unless on sale and with a coupon) won’t last regardless of what the box claims.

• Using the food handlers gloves they provide, thinking they will actually stay on your hands or that you can use your hands with them on is false.

• Dying your hair with clothing you like on.

• Having a white counter top, white tile, and white bathroom rugs.

• Having any kind of itch that is not on your head.

• Forget you have dye on your hands or “gloves” and pet your dog.

• Pile your dyed hair on top of your head, walk around and expect it not to fall and spray tiny splotches of dye everywhere.